Videos uploaded by user “Little Gay Book”
Lesbian Dating: Flirting Tips for Lesbians
Flirting tips for lesbians - yes! Let's face it, some of us flirt mercilessly and some of us do not. It's not something you're born with - it's a muscle that needs to be worked! First, start with eye contact. Hold her look just a little bit longer than normal, then... Watch the rest of the video for all the juicy details. https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/ https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415 https://twitter.com/littlegaybook http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/queer-dear/ Email list: http://bit.ly/2dbvmEs
Views: 134016 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: How to Know If a Woman is Interested In You
Flirting with a girl at work and unclear if she's interested in you? You're not alone. Flirting is a subtle art that needs to be experienced in order to BE recognized. Someone who is interested in you will let you know by exhibiting a few key behaviors. These subtle clues include: *Eye Contact *Making Excuses to continue to be around you *Laughing at everything you say (even if it's not funny) *Smiling at you *Finding ways to lightly touch you I describe each behavior with more detail in the video.... SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/user/littlegaybook WEB: https://www.littlegaybook.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/ TW: https://twitter.com/LITTLEGAYBOOK Little Gay Book is the only matchmaking agency, that focuses exclusively on healthy lesbian & bisexual relationships for successful, professional women in the US, who want real love and real connections, during a time of decreasing quality social opportunities and lonely online dating. I host lesbian/bi fast flirting events all over the country. Join my email list to be the first to know: http://bit.ly/2dbvmEs
Views: 364589 Little Gay Book
Femme Lesbians: How to Get Picked Up
Are you a femme lesbian who struggles with no one ever picking you up and/or having people thinking you're straight? I had the same problem. I share a little bit of my own story and share a couple of options of how to deal with this very frustrating situation. Today we have a question from Dianna, who resides in San Francisco. She writes, "I am a nice Femme girl and I never get picked up. Ever. I go to lesbian clubs, bars, sporting events, and even volunteer at film festivals and gay/lesbian pride events. What should I do?" So this question, Dianna is an interesting one, for me, specifically because I had the same problem. And I notice, and I don't know if this is helpful, but I'll share a little bit about myself: I noticed that when I cut my hair, I used to have very, very, long hair... when I cut it, people started to notice me. But when I had long hair, what people said was that they thought that I was straight.... They thought that I was there with my gay friends or they thought that I was bisexual and they didn't feel comfortable talking to me. The minute I cut my hair everything changed. Which I mean, ya know, I'm not encouraging you to cut your hair, but it says something about our community. And just about humanity.... Human nature.... And what that means is that people feel more intimidated by what they don't know. So, when somebody looks at you and they think, "Well... she looks straight, she's really feminine...I'm afraid to take the risk of going over to her and introducing myself because I might get rejected." Most people fear rejection, so they just decide not to take the risk and avoid it all together... and then YOU end up feeling like you can't meet people. So, I would....if I were to have long hair again, today, I would probably NOT cut my hair and I would just be strong, and confident and try to tolerate that and take the risk of going out of my comfort zone and introducing MYSELF to people. That's what I didn't do. I sort of hung back and was hoping that somebody would notice me and introduce themselves to me, which never happened.... Until I cut my hair. So, I would say, embrace who you are, be confident and go over to people and introduce yourself. And you may get the question of, "Oh are you here with your gay friends? Are you straight?" And you can confidently say, "No. I'm a lesbian. I'm actually VERY gay. Nice to meet you." Good luck and take care. https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/ https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415 https://twitter.com/littlegaybook http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/queer-dear/ Email list: http://bit.ly/2dbvmEs
Views: 32728 Little Gay Book
Femme Lesbian Tips: How To Find Other Feminine Women
Are you a Femme having trouble meeting other feminine women to date? You're not alone. "Anne" from San Diego has the same struggle and listen as I give her advice on how she can find other Femme women to date.... [Transcript] We have a question here from Anne, and she resides in San Diego. And she says, "I'm very Femme and I like other Femme women, but I don't seem to find any. Any advice on how I might be able to find other Femmes?" [music] So this is a common question that I get and I think there is some frustration in the community when there are women that are attracted to very feminine women. Oftentimes, in our community they are hard to find and I will hear from clients how they tend to be attracted to straight women because they're really feminine women and then they get themselves into a problem with that... SO, I would say, one way to meet other Femme women is probably to consider starting a group, maybe a Meet Up that, ya know that is specifically for High Femmes. Or feminine women, some kind of activity that you can all do together, aside from maybe putting up a post or an event on MeetUp, or Craigslist... You may also want to consider completely a confidential profile in the Little Gay Book Database. I'm a matchmaker, and I work with clients who often are looking for feminine partners.... So, I encourage you to fill that out [create a profile] because you want to put yourself out there and not put all your eggs in one basket. So try to get yourself out there, by utilizing all different opportunities to get exposure and meet new people. Many people come to me for matchmaking when they are really clear about the type of women that they want to meet. And some women, like yourself, are very clear about being feminine and wanting to be with another feminine woman. And are having trouble finding that. So, I encourage them to get in my database, consider working with me and I actually do the legwork and I search to screen people that MEET what you're looking for. That meet the criteria that you're looking for.... That's ONE WAY to kind of, make it a bit easier to meet people that you would be interested in dating. Good luck to you. [music]
Views: 9997 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "Best kept secrets for Online Dating"
Hi and welcome to Ask Dr. Frankie. Today I'm talking about my Best Kept Secrets for Online Dating. Be honest and accurate in your representation in yourself. You want to attract quality not quantity. If you're honest and accurate in your profile you will improve the quality of women that you're attracting. Being specific will help filter out the mismatches and attract better potential partners. Carefully select photos that are currently. They can be slightly better than you look in person but be realistic. Remember you want to avoid repeated experiences of rejection. Be selective. Try not to waste time by placing your profile on free sites.
Views: 3754 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "Is she the one for me?"
Ask Dr. Frankie Relationship and Dating Tips for Lesbians - Lesbian Matchmaker www.littlegaybook.com We have a question today from Kim who resides in Demoyne. She says, I've been in my lesbian relationship for three months and I'm wondering if she's the one for me? It's important to keep in mind, in the beginning of a relationship you're feeling really excited, there's Oxytocin and Serotonin that's being secreted in your brain so it's making you feel really really good and euphoric. It's giving you that feeling of wanting to be with your girlfriend all the time. It's important to recognize that there are some biological factors that are sort of impacting the way that you feel. So when you take that into consideration you really want to slow down and get to know your girlfriend before determining after three months that this person is the one for you, because at this point you really can't know. There's something else that actually happens that's called projection, where we tend to project what we really want to have in a lesbian relationship, what we really want to see in our partners, such as certain qualities or characteristics, so we can actually project those things onto them when they don't actually have them because we want so badly for them to have it that we almost pretend that it's there. I want you to keep that in mind as well and take your time getting to know each other. Do you enjoy spending quality time together?, do you have good communication together?, do you have chemistry? Chemistry is really important. It's important to not just have compatibility but to also feel like there's chemistry because you want this energy to take you through many many years. So you want to feel very connected in that way and just be in the moment, don't rush. Don't rush into thinking about marriage. I would spend many more months together before you make a decision about whether she's the one. So I hope this was helpful Kim. Good luck! For more advice on lesbian dating and lesbian relationships please contact Dr. Frankie.
Views: 3444 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: How to Tactfully Ask If She's a Lesbian?
Ronnie from New York asks, "Is there a tactful way to ask a stranger if she's a lesbian?" Is it rude to ask? Is there a respectful, but deliberate question I could ask her without offending her?" Such a great question! And my recommendation? No, do not just come out and ask someone if they are a lesbian. I would first just strike up a conversation with her. Ask her questions, be interested in what she has to say and try to get a sense on your own, if she is responding to you [watch the video for the rest of my advice]
Views: 6141 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "How to break up and stay friends"
Today we have a question from Julie who resides in Tennessee. She writes in an says things aren't working out in my relationship but I love and care for my girlfriend. How do I end my relationship without destroying the possibility of being friends in the future? Thank you Julie for submitting this question - it's a good one. Most importantly this is someone you really love and care for so you really want to be open and honest and communicate with her about the way you feel. You don't want to wait and stall. You want to tell her it's not working out because the longer you drag it out the more painful and damaging it will be for you, her and the relationship as a whole. As soon as possible tell her how you feel from the heart, in a way that's loving and caring. It's important that she feels you're being mindful and respectful of where she sits because it's really hard to be the person being rejected which is not to say it's not difficult being the rejector. Put yourself in her shoes and be empathetic and be willing to listen to her feelings and her thoughts about it. Good luck to you! It's not an easy situation but I feel if you're honest, open and loving I think it will be okay. In the future you'll be about to be friends and maybe it will take some time which may mean that you don't speak for a while. Good luck!
Views: 2759 Little Gay Book
How to Pick Up a Lesbian
Lesbian Love Advice from Dr. Frankie, Lesbian Matchmaker and Psychologist A question today from Vicki, who resides in Boston and she writes: "I'm perplexed on how to pick up a woman. Do I compliment her, or tell her she's pretty or what? Those all seem so insincere. How do I strike up a conversation?" So this is something that women really tend to struggle with. I think that we're just we're not comfortable with it striking up a conversation it's not something that I think we learn early on, so here we are as adults and we're wanting to meet somebody and yeah, we're overwhelmed about going up to them and asking them something because we don't wanna seem stupid or silly or embarrass ourselves. But really is, if you're real, and authentic, people are going to be more receptive to you. So if you notice somebody, across the room, and they caught your attention, why not just go over, introduce yourself and say, "Hey I noticed you. You absolutely beautiful or there's something about you that caught my eye. And I really wanted to come over and say hello and if I hadn't, I would have been kicking myself." And then start a conversation with her. People love to laugh so if you can get her to laugh and just be light and a little bit silly, I think that, that would be a great start. And you'll know right off the bat, if this person is closed off You'll know! Right off the bat, it won't take very long for you to realize that maybe they're already taken, they'll let you know or maybe they're just not open... Or maybe they are just too uncomfortable with themselves to accept you, sort of expressing interest in them And that's probably not somebody that you wanna deal with anyway. So, early on, you're going to figure that out, so I would just take the risk, go up and introduce yourself, let them know that you noticed them and try to make them laugh. And that would be a REALLY good start. Good luck HAVE YOUR OWN LESBIAN LOVE/DATING QUESTION? Submit your question to "Ask Dr. Frankie" at littlegaybook.com
Views: 18981 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie: My girlfriend suddenly broke up with me & I'm having trouble getting over her.
Sierra of Houston writes: Recently my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was very sudden and I was totally blindsided. She said she wasn't in love with me, but yet she spent all her time with me. She took me to meet her family and accepted all the love I gave her. She admitted she should have spoken up earlier, but she couldn't and now I'm feeling very betrayed and having a hard time getting over it. Do you have any advice? First off, Sierra, I'm sorry this happened to you. I can't even imagine being with somebody for two years, and trusting them and having a lot of love for them.... And realizing that all of sudden, they have vanished or evaporated from my life. So, I appreciate you submitting this question. It happens. I know other are probably relating to it. Ya know, I would say.... this is going to take time for you to get over this. I don't have any sort of quick remedies for you. Or suggestions I think you need to take time to figure out, first of all, to let go of some of the pain. Take care of yourself. Be around people that are loving and supportive of you. But, I think you also need to take some time to figure out, ya know, what maybe you might have missed. And I'm not saying that definitely did miss something, but I would wonder myself.... Were there signs? Indications? That may have helped me better take care of myself I think that.... sometimes when we are afraid of losing somebody that we love, or afraid of feeling the difficult feelings, we sometimes dig our head in the sand, like an ostrich and try to avoid really what's going on. And it's too hard to really look at it and I think as you move forward in your life, it's important for yourself and your future relationships to figure out how to stay very present and when things come up, be aware of them. And talk about them. Instead of running from them. I would guess that things came up, way before two years, that maybe were just too afraid of confronting or maybe you didn't see it because..... there's something that we often do, which is denial. It's a defense mechanism, you can go ahead and look it up and learn about it, but I'm sure you're familiar with it. Denial. It's something that protects us. But oftentimes, it prevents us from actually seeing what's actually really in front of us. Stuff we have to deal with. So sierra thanks so much for submitting this question and I wish you the best of luck. Take care. Little Gay Book is the premier lesbian matchmaking company in San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Hawaii, San Antonio and New Jersey. Offering full matchmaking, dating coaching and speed dating, Little Gay Books seeks to match quality, professional women in healthy, long-term partnerships. This video channel is our way of providing real, practical, healthy advice about a a variety of lesbian dating and relationship issues. Learn more at: https://littlegaybook.com
Views: 5301 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating Advice: How can I NOT merge with my partner?
Worried about the dreaded "Lesbian Merge?" Listen to me give advice on how to avoid that (hint: it involves taking the relationship one step at a time and keeping your individuality along the way).
Views: 2363 Little Gay Book
How to Meet Lesbians In a Small Town?
How to meet women when you like in a small town and there isn't a gay/lesbian bar? I get asked this all the time - you're not alone! The key is to NOT sit at home and expert her to knock on your door. I've been a lesbian matchmaker for almost a decade and I can tell you this: The lesbians are out there, they WANT to meet you AND they are looking for something to do to meet the women too, so why don't you start your own event? Host an event where you're the coordinator and get to meet all the people that attend. It could be a book club, a hike, a walk or something that you enjoy. Also, you never know where you'll meet women. They like coffee shops (I see lots of women in coffee shops!), they like to work-out (you could meet a woman at the gym or while cycling), they like sports (intramural sports, flag football, softball), etc. Just try to think of things that lesbian women like and go do them or host an event that you think they would be drawn to. And JUST DO IT!
Views: 5803 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie. "If everything is great, except the sex, will it last?"
Dr. Frankie gives advice on what to do if the everything is great in your lesbian relationship, except the sex.
Views: 1393 Little Gay Book
Little Gay Book: Lesbian Matchmaking. Who We Are and What We Do
Meet Dr. Frankie Bashan, PsyD and Shelley Simpson, matchmakers for Little Gay Book, the only exclusively lesbian matchmaking agency in the US. As matchmakers who focus exclusively on women who love other women, they offer matchmaking, dating coaching, speed dating and dining events centered on sophisticated, professional women, meeting each other, face to face, making real connections. Add yourself to our Matchmaking Database for free: http://bit.ly/2afRWKP Find out more: https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415 https://twitter.com/littlegaybook
Views: 2484 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie Deal Breakers
Ask Dr. Frankie Relationship and Dating Tips for Lesbians - Lesbian Matchmaker www.littlegaybook.com Today we have a question from Nancy who resides in Los Angeles. She says, how do I know if my deal breakers are standing in the way of me meeting Ms. Right? So it's really important Nancy to sit down with your list of deal breakers and make sure you don't have more than three. I want you to sit down and write down all your deal breakers and then write down your top three. For example, your top three could be, you're not interested in dating someone who drinks excessively, maybe someone with children, if you know you don't want to have kids that's a deal breaker, maybe someone who is a workaholic. I want you to sit down and really break down that list because the longer your list of deal breakers is the more you have barriers up and the harder it is to meet somebody. So I want you to stay open as much as possible and really just select the top three. I hope this is helpful Nancy, good luck to you! Dr. Frankie has specialized in working with the LGBT community, and specifically with couples and individuals with relational difficulties. After nine years of clinical experience Dr. Frankie sought a less formal and more dynamic setting to apply her talents. She followed her passion of connecting people and bringing happiness to their lives by becoming a professional matchmaker. Dr. Frankie launched Little Gay Book and quickly became the premiere lesbian matchmaker and bisexual matchmaker in the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, San Diego, New York and Hawaii.
Views: 1456 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "How to fight fairly"
Ask Dr. Frankie Relationship and Dating Tips for Lesbians - Lesbian Matchmaker www.littlegaybook.com HOW TO FIGHT FAIRLY- 4 RELATIONSHIP DESTROYERS Hello ladies...welcome back to Ask Dr. Frankie. Today I'm excited to talk about fight fairly. Learning how to fight fairly is one of the most important set of skills that you can learn in order to keep your relationship healthy and strong. Arguing, disagreeing and fighting is inherent in any relationship. In fact, if you're not fighting here and there I would be concerned. Fighting doesn't just occur in relationships that are failing, it occurs in most relationships and it's not necessarily a bad thing. What makes the difference is how you choose to fight. The difference between couples who fight and make up from the ones who aren't able to make up is often due to lack of skills that are necessary when trying to work through conflict in high stressed situations. Couples who fight fairly demonstrate subtle but crucial traits that keep them from becoming hostile and overly angry. I want to share 4 relationship destroyers with you that Dr. John Gottman developed. He's well known for his work on marital stability and relationship analysis. He has studied relationships for over two decades and is known for his ability to predict the likelihood of divorce in newlyweds. Relationship Destroyer #1 CRITICISM: Let's focus on the use of criticism when communicating for a minute. Criticism can be blaming, finding fault, nit picking for small things or attacking your partners character. Complaining isn't damaging or toxic however criticism is. For example, imagine you're really frustrated with your partner for not putting her dishes in the dishwasher. You could choose to communicate your frustration by saying "Babe I'm really frustrated that you're forgetting to put your dishes in the dishwasher and I really would appreciate it if you could make sure that you don't forget next time. You really want to focus on the behavior not the person. An example of using criticism in your statement would be if you said "You're so lazy, why can't you put your dishes in the dishwasher?" So ladies, I really want you to be thoughtful about how you say what you say. Couples of fight fairly state their requests directly. If they want their partner to react differently they ask for it. They are able to communicate clearly about what they desire. They may say something like please put your dishes in the dishwasher for now on rather than I need you to change. Remember the goal is to communicate your thoughts and feelings in a way that your partner can hear you. When we're being attacked our ears curl and we're no longer hearing what is being said because we're preparing to counter attack. Relationship Destroyer #2: CONTEMPT: Contempt occurs when we communicate with disgust. For example name calling, eye rolling, cursing, and being hateful. Couples who show a high degree of non verbal contempt for each other through behaviors like eye rolling, avoiding eye contact and shaking their heads are more likely to have relationship distress. Prolonged exposure to these behaviors build up resentment and anger that over time erodes the relationship. If you're feeling really angry and disgusted with the situation take a breather and allow yourself some time to decompress. There's no need to feel like you need to solve the problem this very moment when you're full of anger. Keep in mind nothing gets accomplished when we're angry. Give yourself a few minutes to cool off by taking a walk or listening to music then reattempt to communicate with your partner in a non contemptuous way. Relationship Destroyer #3: DEFENSIVENESS: Defensiveness occurs for example when you're not taking responsibility for your own stuff, turning the blame on your partner. For example, your partner is trying to communicate her feelings to you and you follow up by saying "Well you don't always put the dishes in the dishwasher either". When you're partner's communicating how she feels even if it's hard to hear what she has to say take a deep breath and try and stay focused and present instead of planning and formulating your response. Relationship Destroyer #4: STONEWALLING: Stonewalling is refusing to deal with the issue and an inability to deal with conflict. Stonewalling can be displayed by your partner walking away angry while you're trying to communicate with her or ignoring you for hours or days after having a disagreement. Stonewalling is one of the most toxic behaviors one can engage in. If you need to take a time out from discussing the situation with your partner communicate with her by saying you need to take a breather for a few minutes instead of walking away with no explanation. You want to be clear that you're not abandoning the situation.
Views: 1626 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "My girlfriend has issues with intimacy"
Lesbian struggles with intimacy
Views: 2429 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: What to wear on your first date
What [not] to wear on your first lesbian date. Dr. Frankie tackles this nerve-wracking concern.
Views: 20840 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "How to know if my partner is cheating"
Today we have a question from Mel who lives in Kansas. She's asking how does she know if her partner's cheating on her? This is a good question Mel and I'm sorry that you're in this predicament now. If your gut is telling you that your partner is cheating on you I would say she probably is but there certain things you can look for that will give you some indications. One is if she's struggling to maintain eye contact with you. She seems kind of evasive and is avoiding interacting with you. There is a lot of guilt that's tied into all of this. It's hard to look your partner in the eyes when there's cheating and betrayal happening. Another thing you can look for is if they're changing their routine for example coming home later, taking better care of themselves, exercising, they're going out and shopping, buying new clothes, wearing new perfume. Another thing you can look for is the avoidance of processing anything regarding the relationship. Again, if your spidy sense is alerting you it's probably correct. I hope it all works out for you Mel. Good luck!
Views: 1976 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: I'm 50 and Feeling Lost About Dating
Octavia is a 50 year old lesbian with a dating history of intimate, loving, healthy long-term relationships, yet... she finds that all of her relationships "just weren't right." What is she doing wrong? This is actually, a very common question I hear in my dating coaching practice. And if so many people are suffering, what is the solution? It's a complicated answer in a short video, so I'll boil it down to one word to help propel the conversation: It comes down to unrealistic expectations. We've been told that everything is fixable, interchangeable and can be done immediately. But when it comes to human behavior and intimate relationships, you're dealing with intimacy, vulnerability and some really complex and difficult issues, these things take some REAL work. Watch the video to hear me give some advice to Octavia. While it's not a checklist of things to do, it IS a solution that WILL help you in the future of your dating life.
Views: 4425 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "Should I feel intimidated by dating a bisexual woman?".
As you probably already know I am a professional matchmaker who works solely with lesbians and bisexual women interested in women. My process of matchmaking is private, personal and very detailed. I invite you to complete a confidential profile with us so that we can get to know you and learn about the type of women you're interested in meeting. if you're wondering if this is the right thing to do or whether this is the right time the answer is yes. You never know when you may get a call from my office because we have a client in mind, that may be a match for you. We're accepting submissions from women of all ages and locations. So if you're ready for a significant relationship and interested in the possibility of being introduced to one or more of our clients I can't encourage you more to visit my websites at littlegaybook.com and click on the "create a profile" link to get started. Thank you so much for your time and I am really looking forward to learning about you!!
Views: 3260 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: I'm a Proud Bisexual Woman and I'm Tired of Having to Explain Myself
A new lesbian dating question is from Josephine of Virginia: "I'm a bisexual femme. I know many lesbians have issues with bi-women, but I'm proud of who I am and so were many of my lovers. However, it's still very frustrating when I have to explain my identity repeatedly to women who think I need to choose a side, or I'm not really a lesbian. Do you have any advice?" The Good News? It's getting better. I think that women the queer community are becoming more accepting of differences. As the transgendered community is becoming more open, more comfortable, more exposure and more education....It's sort of making bisexual women/bisexual community sort of less intimidating/scary....more known, more understandable...... When we don't understand things, we just sort of.... our fear starts to creep up and shut down... we shut off... we disconnect. And a lot of times, what happened with bisexual women, at least, what I find, is that they haven't felt very welcome... and it sounds like you're having that experience, where you're having to justify your bisexuality and you're feeling like you need to choose a side.... I think continue to feel confident, and comfortable with who you are, you're a bisexual woman... be proud of it. Help people understand what that means for you and not to generalize when somebody hears that someone is bisexual woman and not to assume that they are THIS type of bisexual woman or THAT type of bisexual woman and instead just see them for an individual.... We are all different and I think it is important for you to embrace who you are and be confident and comfortable with who you are and help educate people so they can understand and they don't have to shut people out because of fear of not knowing or not understanding....so keep doing, what you're doing. Take Care.
Views: 6344 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: How to Tell If She's a Lesbian - Dr. Frankie Bashan, PsyD.
How can I tell if she's a lesbian? It's something every lesbian has struggled with - And some that struggle with continuously. The truth is: You CAN'T tell by looking at a woman if she likes women. No haircut, fingernail length or softball throw, will tell you if she's gay. The only way you can TRULY know is if you ask her. BUT, there's a stylish way to ask and stylish way to tell. Watch this live video and get the tips you need to engage that cute girl. https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/ https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415 https://twitter.com/littlegaybook http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/queer-dear/ Email list: http://bit.ly/2dbvmEs
Views: 100609 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "Long distance relationship, can it Last"
Advice on making long distance relationships last.
Views: 1400 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating Advice: How Do I Retrain My Chemistry to Be Loved?
This months' question is from Brittany of Atlanta. Brittany asks, "How do I re-train myself to react to chemistry from women who will treat me well instead of women who won't? With a history of dating women who were either abusive, recovering addicts and/or narcissus, I've done a lot of recovery, therapy and even EMDR to re-pattern my thinking. But I still find myself being attracted to/having chemistry with women who ultimately treat me poorly. Any advice? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I am Dr. Frankie Bashan, and I love giving you real, lesbian love advice. As a licensed psychologist with over a decade of experience with the LGBT community, I bring a caring, non-judgement attitude to my matchmaking and dating coaching. Each month I answer a new question, submitted by, to help you navigate the complex land of relationships and dating. Find our more: https://littlegaybook.com. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah! So this is a hard question to answer in a minute or two, but I would say that, first of all, I want to commend you for doing your work...for going you now to see a therapist, doing EMDR and really trying to get to a place, where you can be vulnerable, and comfortable in a relationship and you're wanting that....the thing is you're noticing now that you have sort of a blind spot and being aware that blind spot is the MOST important part being successful in changing your pattern So, what I would say is: To try to break a pattern you have to do the opposite of what you're inclined to do. So you're attracted to women who are going to repeat the same pattern which is comforting to you because it's familiar, we are drawn to things that are familiar to us whether it be people, environment types of food that kinda thing so what I suggest is, have your friends, have your family, have people in your life try to introduce you to people that they think may be a good fit for you. That you may not generally be attracted to you. And try it out and keep trying it out and keep exposing yourself until you START to become a little more comfortable with being with somebody you're spending quality time with somebody that you may not normally be attracted to you it's just something that you have to do and practice and to shift the pattern keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, and eventually it'll feel familiar and more comfortable to you to be with somebody who can be loving... Who can appreciate you and who can who can adore you and give you what you need and what you truly deserve. Brittany, it's also really important to remember that you're worthy that you're deserving... you're deserving of a good partner, a loving partner somebody who appreciates and respects you, so remember THAT. Keep that in mind if you take all this...even just a nugget of this information and feedback I think it'll be really helpful. Good luck in your process.
Views: 4366 Little Gay Book
I Feel Like I'm Always Walking on Egg Shells With My Partner (Borderline Personality Disorder?)
Do you find yourself walking on eggshells with your partner? Is she quick to anger and always says it's your fault? She could have Borderline Personality Disorder and that is a very complicated and difficult mental illness. It's a bigger problem than people in the queer community care to acknowledge and I have a few tips for coping and how to navigate the journey. For more queer love & dating advice, subscribe to my email list: http://bit.ly/2dbvmEs Or connect with me here: littlegaybook.com instagram.com/dr_frankie415/ twitter.com/littlegaybook facebook.com/littlegaybook/
Views: 1446 Little Gay Book
How to Find Your Gay and Lesbian Community?
Do You Feel You're the Only Gay & Lesbian Person in Your Town? Listen to advice from Dr. Frankie and a panel of experts from YourTango about how to meet a community of other gay & lesbian people.
Views: 4111 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Bed Death - Advice from Dr. Frankie of Little Gay Book
Lesbian bed death should just be called "Long Term Relationship Bed Death, " because it's so common! Bed death isn't exclusive to the lesbian community, it happens to every couple that's been together for a significant amount of time. But there IS hope and some very real solutions - including the "No Sex for 30 Days," strategy that I talk about specifically. It involves no sex, no sexual touching and no masturbation for 30 days. The idea is the build tension and reignite your sex life. Listen in as I elaborate more on the strategy as well as answer your live questions.
Views: 4382 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie "How long until we move in together?"
Ask Dr. Frankie Relationship and Dating Tips for Lesbians - Lesbian Matchmaker www.littlegaybook.com Today we have a question from Cindy who resides in Philadelphia. She asks, How long should my girlfriend and I date before we move in together? So I know how us lesbians get, okay they meet somebody, they're feeling really connected, and pretty early on we feel we want to move in together. There's a chemical change that occurs in the beginning of a relationship that causes us to feel strong feelings prematurely. These chemicals like Oxytocin make you feel like you want to move in together and spend every waking moment together but you want to slow down and just beware that this is sort of at play and you want to really get to know this person before you jump into something. Moving in together is a big commitment so you want to build a foundation beforehand so that when life happens and things become really stressful you'll have something to fall back on. You'll have a foundation, you'll know how to argue effectively, you'll know how to work through difficult situations. If you move in too soon, life will definitely happen, I promise you, and you won't have the foundation to back up the relationship. So I would take it slow and not move in until you've been together for about a year which is usually my recommendation. So enjoy your time together and once you've hit the year mark and you feel like you've been challenged in ways in your relationship that have shown that you can work through it by communicating and being respectful and work through difficult situations then consider moving in together if you're still feeling like you're compatible and there's chemistry. Good luck, Cindy.
Views: 1259 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie Who pays on the first date?
Ask Dr. Frankie Relationship and Dating Tips for Lesbians - Lesbian Matchmaker www.littlegaybook.com Today we have a question from Cathy who resides in San Jose. She writes in and says after being in a relationship for many years, I'm dating again and I'm wondering who pays on the first date? Well, this is a complicated question when we're talking about women dating women because it really depends. So I would say that if you're out on a date and you're interesting in this person I think offering to pay would be a really nice gesture. If the woman is not that open or interested in you paying you could go dutch. Personally in my experience when I'm on a date, for us femme women, we like to be treated. I think most of us like to be treated. So if you're out on a date and you have more masculine traits and are more butch. I would recommend treating your date. Good luck! Dr. Frankie has specialized in working with the LGBT community, and specifically with couples and individuals with relational difficulties. After nine years of clinical experience Dr. Frankie sought a less formal and more dynamic setting to apply her talents. She followed her passion of connecting people and bringing happiness to their lives by becoming a professional matchmaker. Dr. Frankie launched Little Gay Book and quickly became the premiere lesbian matchmaker and bisexual matchmaker in the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, New York and Hawaii.
Views: 3096 Little Gay Book
How to Create a Free Profile at Little Gay Book
As you probably know I am a professional matchmaker who works solely with lesbians and bisexual women interested in women. My process of matchmaking is private, personal and very detailed. I invite you to complete a confidential profile with us so that we can get to know you and learn about the type of women you're interested in meeting. if you're wondering if this is the right thing to do or whether this is the right time the answer is yes. You never know when you may get a call from my office because we have a client in mind, that may be a match for you. We're accepting submissions from women of all ages and locations. So if you're ready for a significant relationship and interested in the possibility of being introduced to one or more of our clients I can't encourage you more to visit my websites at littlegaybook.com and click on the "create a profile" link to get started. Thank you so much for your time and I am really looking forward to learning about you!!
Views: 4281 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: Are My Expectations Too High?
Found yourself in your mid-30's, single and baffled as to how your relationships always seem to end? Think you might have too high of expectations? Read on as I answer Heather's question on this very topic..... "I'm a very happy lesbian in my late 30's, but I'm a little baffled by my dating life. I've just recently got out of a healthy monogamous relationship w/ someone I loved very much. We split because the relationship just wasn't right, and I got to thinking: While I loved all my ex's, all of these ended because they just weren't right. Are my expectations too high? I don't think so. Or how is it that they all end? I don't think I could go through another break up anytime soon, what do you suggest I do? So... Heather...I think that you bring up a really good question The truth is, there's a "cost for admission." And when I say that...ya know... I mean that... when you get into a relationship with somebody, there are gonna be issues that come up. We are ALL imperfect beings..... And....No one.... right.. is complete perfection.... so it's important for you to be realistic about your expectations And know that
Views: 2314 Little Gay Book
What is Lesbian/Bi Speed Dating Like? #SanFrancisco
"I actually never thought I would come to and event, but it was easy to get to know people." "It's made me brave. I never thought about doing this." "I met a ton of women - smart." "I felt like everyone was super friendly." Compilation of testimonials from our San Francisco Lesbian/Bi Speed Dating in San Francisco in December 2016. Meet Dr. Frankie, host and CEO and hear real, authentic feedback from how nervous attendees were, to how much fun they had, to how easy our texting app was. littlegaybook.com instagram.com/dr_frankie415/ twitter.com/littlegaybook facebook.com/littlegaybook/
Views: 4105 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: Thoughts on Lesbian Bed Death
Ah, yes - Lesbian Bed Death (LBD). The scourge of many a long term lesbian couple. LBD actually happens to many long term couples, heterosexual couples included. The keys to moving past LBD is this: 1. Make sex a priority in your relationship. 2. Understand your chemical make up (women have less testosterone than men, and consequently less urgency around sex) and don't give in to "just letting her sleep." Wake her up for sex! 3. Keep making sex a priority and desire for it be trumped by being tired or not wanting to "bother your partner." 4. Remember that sex is the glue to any intimate relationship - it's what differentiates you from friends. For more advice (all questions submitted by viewers) check out my playlist, "Ask Dr. Frankie: Lesbian Love & Relationship Expert," or go to my website: www.littlegaybook.com Transcript of video: Sophie from Seattle submitted a question and she asks, "What are your thoughts on Lesbian Bed Death? As much as I try to stay connected to my partner, make sex a priority and change up our sex life, it [lesbian bed death} still happens. How do I fix it?" So! Lesbian Bed Death. Here's what *I* about Lesbian Bed Death: I think that if we don't work hard at it, it definitely will take over any relationship, whether you are in a lesbian or heterosexual relationship. I think that intimacy and sex has to be a priority and it's important, it's the glue to the relationship and it sounds like, you have been making it a priority and you're not sure why it still happens. What I'm thinking is maybe, because we're women.... it happens more in lesbian relationships because we have less testosterone. So with men, they NEED to have sex! They have that need, and that urge and they're going to make it happen... because they have that testosterone, right. We don't. We're sort of like, we don't have as much, so.... They [men] will pursue it and pursue it hard, and make it happen.... Whereas WE [women] will sometimes be like, "Oh. We're too tired," or "I have the urge, I sort of want to, but I see my partner is tired so I'm just gonna let her sleep and not really bother her... I feel like I'm bothering her. So let me just let it go..." And one night turns into another night, turns into a week, turns into a month, turns into a year. And so on... So, I think that you're doing the best that you can... Continue to prioritize sex and intimacy in your relationship and make sure to get involved with women who feel like it is equally as important, to prioritize sex and intimacy, because AGAIN it's the glue in the relationship. It's what differentiates you from friends. Keep doing what you're doing and make sure that you're choosing partners who also feel like it's a very important priority.
Views: 4674 Little Gay Book
Little Gay Book Dr. Frankie Testimonial Debra
Lesbian Matchmaker Dr. Frankie from Little Gay Book explains the objectives and process of helping her clients find their match. Client testimonial by Lynn Hall.
Views: 1672 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Divorce: How to Cope with the Anger in Healthy, Practical, Real-Life Ways
After I posted a video about some of my personal struggle with divorce, women reached out with questions about how to deal with the anger. It's a great question and is something I take very seriously. Listen to my practical prescription for healthy ways to deal with anger, and some coping skills to add to your toolbox. https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/ https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415 https://twitter.com/littlegaybook
Views: 1217 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating: Falling in Love with Straight Girls
Today's question was submitted by Dianna, who resides in Vermont. She writes, "I have a bad habit of falling for straight girls. I always find out after I've fallen in love. Does this mean I'm going for women who are unavailable to me? How can I fix this?" [music] Well Dianna, the first question that comes to mind is... How are you falling in love with straight girls? How is it that you're falling in love with somebody that you don't know is straight? So I'm wondering if you're not asking the right questions early on, or that you're not asking questions period early on. And you just following with your heart? The important thing here is that you wanna be with somebody who you can feel safe with, right? Somebody who knows who they are, who knows their sexual orientation and if they're not comfortable on their sexual orientation yet, at least they're working towards being comfortable and there's some insight and awareness at least they're working towards an awareness around where they are themselves in their own sexual orientation and their OWN development around that. So I'm concerned about the fact that you fall in love with somebody that, that you just don't know if they're gay or straight so... think about that please next time you go out there and you meet somebody that you're into think about.... "Alright I need to ask this person questions about their past questions about their sexual orientation, questions about how they feel on their own skin...... " That sort of thing. So hopefully this is helpful and thanks for submitting a question. Good luck.
Views: 16348 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Matchmaker Dr. Frankie Little Gay Book Client Testimonials
Please Visit http://www.littlegaybook.com/ Dr. Frankie is the CEO and founder of Little Gay Book; a local, personalized, boutique matchmaking service. Her area of expertise is finding love for the singles lesbians and bisexual women of our community. She is an insider in the lesbian community and understands the challenges in meeting high quality, professional, emotionally available women who are interested in a committed relationship. Dr. Frankie specializes in lesbian matchmaking and bisexual matchmaking for singles in the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, and New York. She is a doctor of psychology, a nationally recognized, relationship coach and an expert in the field of human behavior, with years of experience.
Views: 2376 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Matchmaking: Testimonial from a matched couple [full 18 min video]
Wondering what lesbian matchmaking is all about? Listen to Brianna & Jill, an actual, real-life couple that I matched, as part of Little Gay Book. You'll hear both sides of the experience, from one taking a risk and attending a speed dating event, to getting a consultation, to eventually being sent on an introduction to my client. You'll also hear from the client, how she "did the math" and was concerned about the price, but then changed her mind when she realized how perfectly matched she was the woman she was introduced to. Told in their words, with only questions from me, this is their story of love and risk and I couldn't be more grateful.
Views: 2414 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie: How Do I Meet A Smart, Femme, Feminist Lesbian?
Marlene in upstate New York writes: "I'm a feminine woman in my forties living in upstate New York and I'm having trouble meeting a feminist women who is educated, sweet, not into games and creative. I'm a great catch have lots of love to give and I'm feeling very discouraged. What do suggest I do? As a matchmaker, I'm keenly aware it's hard to meet quality women. Every day, I'm searching for them for my clients. Listen to the advice I give Marlene on how she might find a woman with these very specific attributes... [Partial Transcript] Well, Marlene... Speaking from a Matchmaker's mouth, I can tell you that you're describing somebody who's a quality person that you want to meet, that has similar similar interests, that's sweet, that's educated, that's feminist. You're looking for something specific. You're looking for somebody who is a feminist. So, I would say, try to get on some online groups that draw feminist women participate in those groups... maybe go to a MeetUp events in your area where feminist women are convening... I would try to get out there and try to network with women who have similar interests to you In general, I can tell you as a Matchmaker, it's hard to meet quality women, right I'm searching all the time for women for my clients and my clients are really specific in what they're looking for so I'd say get out there try to meet as many people as possible let your friends know that you're single and you're looking to meet somebody with these qualities and.... I think it's just going to take time, so to be realistic and it's gonna take some time and channel your energy and focus in meeting somebody... and create space in your life for it.... and eventually, it will happen.
Views: 3839 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating Advice: My Girfriend is Asexual - What Should I Do?
Kim from Seattle writes, "My Girlfriend is ASexual - What Should I Do?" "I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months and she is fantastic. Sweat and funny, a great person, but she is asexual and I'm having a hard time coping with it. My girlfriend struggles with depression, past trauma, molestation and a very heavy workload. As a result, she's not very affectionate, we don't have sex for months at a time, and I'm confused if I should stick it out or try to find someone I can have a fully affectionate relationship with, like I desire and want." Kim, this is a tough one.... It sounds like you really care for your girlfriend.... bu the truth is, she has a pretty difficult past, with trauma, childhood molestation, struggling with depression, and then a heavy workload. You're dealing with a lot - it's not like you're dealing with one thing (like only a heavy workload), that you could modify or adjust or depression, that could be treated... in therapy or with medication..., but then on top of all of this, she also has childhood trauma... AND she identifies as asexual. An Asexual person is one who has very little or no sexual attraction for anyone [this definition is different than what is in the video, thanks to the several people who commented and clarified the definition. The video can't be reshot, but I've added a note to highlight the difference]. And you're someone, from what I can tell, who feels the need for intimacy, the need for physical touch, affection and sex. So this is important! Like I've said before, in previous videos.... Affection, sex, intimacy, is the GLUE in any relationship... It's what differentiates you from friends. So, if you're not able to have this in your relationship and you don't feel similarly about intimacy or sex....if you were asexual too, than that would be fine, but it sounds like you're needing more.... And like you said, you DESIRE it and you WANT it. You deserve it. As difficult as it is, for me to say this, it sounds like you probably should cut your losses here and let her go and give yourself the opportunity to find somebody who is more compatible. Good luck to you."
Views: 5535 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Dating Advice: There Are Not A Lot of Lesbians In My Town. How Can I Meet Women?
Do you live in a place where there appears not be a lot of lesbians? This isn't uncommon and I get asked this all the time. In this video, I present a few small activities you can do to meet other lesbians.
Views: 2031 Little Gay Book
Why Does Society Hate Gay and Lesbian People So Much?
An open discussion of how many folks seem to hate gay & lesbian people with Dr. Frankie and a team of experts from YourTango. Why do you think some of society seem to hate gay and lesbian people?
Views: 7543 Little Gay Book
Lesbian Matchmaking Client Testimonial: Lynn Hall
Lesbian Matchmaker Dr. Frankie from Little Gay Book explains the objectives and process of helping her clients find their match. Client testimonial by Lynn Hall.
Views: 944 Little Gay Book
What is Lesbian/Bi Speed Dating Like? #BOSTON
"The time went TOO FAST! Should have been longer!" "I definitely had quality with this." This was our first lesbian/bi speed dating in Boston, MA. Get introduced to Dr. Frankie and a few cute faces of the attendees of one of our most successful events. You'll hear from a variety of women, old, young, masculine to feminine. It gives you a nice overview of real, authentic experiences. littlegaybook.com instagram.com/dr_frankie415/ twitter.com/littlegaybook facebook.com/littlegaybook/
Views: 937 Little Gay Book
3 Sex Max: Lesbian Dating Advice
"Dr. Frankie: I've heard of a thing called the "3 Sex Maximum." If you're having a casual sexual relationship with someone, you shouldn't have sex with them for more than three times." My thought on this: As women, we tend to grow attached to people when we have sex (and that's a good thing). Our chemicals are made up to bond us to our sexual partners and we don't always know how our chemicals are going to respond. You might bond after 2 sexual episodes with a new lover, or you might bond at 4. The important part is to be really clear and present with yourself and pay attention to how you feel. Check out my other lesbian love advice (questions submitted from you) on my playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6C08FB8CD10A309A I have more lesbian love and healthy relationship advice on my website and social media profiles: https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/ https://twitter.com/littlegaybook https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415/
Views: 6548 Little Gay Book
How to Keep the Lesbian Spark Alive: Stop Burping & Farting
Wondering how you've lost interest in your lesbian partner? Maybe you should work harder at keeping up the mystery. "Dear. Dr. Frankie: Is it unreasonable to ask my partner to close the door while using the restroom and refrain from farting and belching in my presence?" Yes! YESSS! If you want to keep the SEXY ON between the two of you... farting and belching and pooping....in front of each other is NOT SEXY! We really want to extend, for as long as possible, our desire for your partner.... Sign up for my email list: http://bit.ly/2khOTlL https://www.littlegaybook.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr_frankie415/ https://twitter.com/littlegaybook https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/
Views: 2504 Little Gay Book
Ask Dr. Frankie"Can 2 tops enjoy a good sex life"
Dr. Frankie gives advice on how to enjoy a good sex life with two lesbian tops
Views: 927 Little Gay Book